Yes, You HAVE a Choice!
Ever since Sean decided to make Shoot a Liberal a group blog, there has been a bunch of discussion and debate on just what is the best manner to dispose of dirty hippies: shooting, impaling, or walking them off the plank.
Then it occurs to me: just what do the dirty hippies want to do? After all, they're the ones being disposed of; shouldn't they have a choice of their manner of disposal?
In that spirit, I present to you the following proposal. A hippie would be taken out to sea on board a ship (preferably a US Navy ship, a pirate ship would suffice if needed) and would be stood on a plank. Underneath them would be three massive spikes. The spikes would be easy to jump over; however, swimming around and past the spikes would be angry, bloodthirsty sharks. If that's not dangerous enough for you, a helicopter with a mounted .50 caliber machine gun would be hovering overhead, taking aim at said dirty hippie (Trolls, Democrats, Commies, and RINOS are also subject to said choice, by the way) and forcing him to make a quick decision. Meanwhile, a group of sailors or pirates-whichever works better-would be pressing in from the ship (you can't see them in the diagram below, but they're there) with fully automatic weapons, further forcing the hippie to make the choice.
To further clarify my proposition, I present the following diagram:
So, you have a choice: be impaled, be devoured by angry sharks, or be shot by a helicopter and/or a bloodthirsty mob.
And who said Republicans aren't fair and balanced?