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*Disclaimer: Don't actually shoot liberals... Impaling is much more satisfying. But then again, there's always walking the plank...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Patriot Act Revision 2

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

CSPAN continues it's coverage of the 109th Congress, 1st Session.

House of Representatives
Washington D.C.

"The chair recognizes the gentleman from Nevada."

"Thank you. I, SeanS, hereby recommend an amendment to H.R. 3199, extension of the Patriot Act, to include the following provisions:

1) Illegal aliens have no rights to utlize our court system as they are not legal citizens.
2) As per clause 1, it is okay to detain illegal aliens for the purpose of returning them to their rightful home.
3) Terrorist can be shot on sight, regardless of location.
4) Hippies count as terrorists.
5) The ACLU no longer has any right to access our court system, as they too are terrorists.
6) Al Franken counts as a terrorist.
7) If any liberal moron says anything else about immediate withdrawl of our troops or any other defeatest trash, it is considered an act of sedition. The punishment shall be immediate deportation to Iraq.
8) It is hereby illegal to call Christmas anything other than Christmas. If you don't want to offend the Jews, you are authorized to say Happy Hannukah along with the Merry Christmas."

*Call to vote*

Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Day By Day© by Chris Muir.