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This is the old site. Click the title to go to the new Shoot a Liberal.

*Disclaimer: Don't actually shoot liberals... Impaling is much more satisfying. But then again, there's always walking the plank...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I've Put it Off Long Enough

Fmragtops has asked for posts on impaling and I've been procrastinating. Enough. Here is my candidate for having their head put on a stake:

Jane Fonda

Purely as an example to all of the other liberals that aiding the enemy will not be tolerated. Stop giving them fodder to keep their resolve. Murtha says we should pull our troops out now and the terrorists read that as weakness. "We must be frightening them." This gets more of them to join the fight.

Fonda gets the treatment because she actively aided the enemy in North Korea. We need 100% of the nation to be actively supporting our troops in order to win. Make the terrorists in Iraq shake with fear by announcing in one voice, "We stand ready and you will not win!"

Go See Sean

Not me... Sean Gleeson has the Bonfire of the Vanities episode #126. Apparently all Seans don't like Cindy Sheehan.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Sheehan's Novel

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

Harvey is cruel. I like to read, but he’s forcing us to endure the torture that is Cindy Sheehan. You see, she put out a book, if you can call garbage like this a book. I, for one, am not going to do it. I’d like to preserve my brain cells at least until I’m 80.

Instead I’m going straight to the source. I tracked down ‘She who refuses to relinquish the limelight’ in Crawford, Texas where she awaits the return of President Bush.

Me: Mrs. Sheehan, may I ask you a few questions about your book?

Cindy: You read it?!

Me: Well, no.

CS: You want to?! I’ll give you a copy… no, three copies! Share them with your friends.

Me: No thanks. I like my friends.

CS: You sure? I’ll autograph them and everything!

Me: I just wanted to ask you what the book is about.

CS: It’s about the illegal war that President Bushitler is waging in the peace-loving country of Iraq. It’s about how he has refused to speak to me about why he personally murdered my son.

Me: But didn’t Casey volunteer for that mission?

CS: Oh! You’re one of THEM! Well let me tell you something Rupuglikan! You can go back to your baby killing friends and tell them that Cindy ain’t going home until every one of our boys is out of Iraq!

Me: Okay. Well thanks for your time.

CS: Wait! You’re not actually leaving, are you? I’ll be all alone again!

Me: Let go of my leg!

CS: Nooo!!! You can’t go!!!

After struggling for a few minutes I finally managed to free myself and run for my life. Don’t ever make me do this again Harvey, or I’ll send Sheehan to your house.

Cindy: Ha! Found you!


Not So Cold North of the Border

Maybe it will be a milder winter up in Canada now that Prime Minister Paul Martin (aka PM PM) is out of parliament.
A corruption scandal forced a vote of no-confidence Monday that toppled Prime Minister Paul Martin's minority government, triggering an unusual election campaign during the Christmas holidays.
I consider this to be the best Christmas present the Canadians can get. Martin was weak on terrorism and was a big proponent for gay marriage. His liberal ideals were turning Canada into a pathetic country. Now we can look forward to an ally that will be strong and face the truth that terrorists are all over the world standing ready to pray on indifferent nations.

My hope is for the Canadians to vote in the stronger conservative party and see that Stephen Harper becomes the new PM. They could look forward to tax cuts and maybe regain good relations with the Bush administration.

Breakfast at Basil's

Thanks Google!

Anyone doing a search on "Evil Walmart" will see that I am now #5 on the list. Isn't sarcasm great?

To all those who are directed here, thanks for coming. I hope some capitalism rubs off during your stay because, frankly, communism sucks.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

What Are They Thinking?

Sunday's edition of the Las Vegas Review Journal has a surprise in the Opinion section. Where all of the liberal ranting is supposed to be, there is a beautifully sculptured piece by J.C. Watts. Here's an excerpt:
Eight months ago, 53 percent of our fellow Americans believed President Bush to be accurate and honest in making his case to the country before we went to war. Forty-one percent believed he had "misled us."

Today, The Wall Street Journal and NBC tell us that only 35 percent believe Bush was truthful while 57 percent believe he deliberately misled us into war.

I'm aghast at the absurdity of it all. No matter how vehemently I may disagree with a political opponent, I would never presume to believe that a man or woman who was elected by a majority of Americans in a particular district or state would deliberately choose to send our sons and daughters to war and send them to their untimely graves.

But I guess I don't play the game the way they do.
I love the way he eloquently sticks it to the MSM. J.C. writes only a few columns for the R.J. every year. If he ever gets a blog, I'm reading it every day.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Label Me a Fish Murderer

PETA is, once again, on a campaign to scare the living daylights out of your kids. 'Your Daddy Kills Animals'(WARNING:Link has graphic content) is the title of a comic produced by those tree-hugging friends-of-beef intended to make your child run frightened through the house every time you open the fridge.
The handout, titled "Your Daddy Kills Animals," features a grinning lunatic gutting a fish, and warns kids to keep their puppies and kittens away from Dad because he's "hooked on killing."
The tactics that PETA uses are no better then the terrorists in Iraq. They use fear to force the masses to see things their way (sound familiar?). Don't misunderstand me, I have never, nor will ever, condone avoidable cruelty to animals. Pets should be loved and cared for and the cows that are used for the steak I eat should be killed quickly and humanely. Under no circumstances will I be threatened by a bunch of worthless tofu-eating hoodlums because I choose to consume meat.

It is in human nature to be a omnivore. Our bodies require the protein and nutrients that come from meat, eggs, and milk. I don't care if they found some chemical substitute for these things. Meat tastes good! Also, there is no artificial material that feels as warm and soft as true animal fur. It's past time for the government to reevaluate the tax-exempt status of PETA due to their terrorist ties (ie. the ELF and ALF). Put them out of business, for the sake of my taste buds.

I just wish I was better at killing fish... I guess we'll be having peanut butter and jelly again.

Friday, November 25, 2005

'Tis the Season

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Remember Christ this Christmas.

Sheehan Gets Stoned

Peace-mom and overall liberal nutcase Cindy (Screech) Sheehan will now be forever immortalized in something more intelligent than she; a 1,200 pound rock.
The artist who carved the 1,200-pound monument, Ron Teska of Wind Ridge, Pa., drove to Crawford the last week of the protest with the stone slab in the back of his pickup. He spent about 45 hours carving it.
This just proves my point that hippies have nothing good to do with their time. Work would mean being a productive member of society and thus it must be shunned. Keep sending those welfare checks!

My favorite part of this is the caption that accompanies the photo:
Sheehan and her supporter have resumed their war protest near President Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas.
She's down to one now?! Don't tell me that those liberal hippies are ACTUALLY using their brains! No way. Maybe they just figured out that she is a lost cause that will go the way of Michael Moore.

You know, he's that guy who made that movie with all the lies in it. Fahrenheit-something...

Dessert at Basil's
Linked to Right Wing Nation and The Steel Deal

Evil Glenn's Fault

(A Filthy Lie)

It's been a heck of a month so far. My stepson drove his car off the side of the road and took out a fire hydrant. The car is totaled. My insurance rates will rise astronomically and I'm forced to find alternate transportation means for him as he has a full time job.

I couldn't figure out why it happened. He is a fairly safe driver and his little car was in great condition. Suddenly the answer just came to me. Evil Glenn.

Yes, Evil Glenn has been using his blog to put subliminal suggestions into his head causing him to drive erratically at the most inopportune times. He was forced, against his will, to drive 10 MPH over the speed limit just as he came up to the turn in the road so he would lose control. The financial effect on me would cause me to stop blogging and actually start working.

Now, if only I can prove it in court...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving

Time for turkey and cranberries and yams. No time for posts.

Have a happy and safe holiday.

Sunday, November 20, 2005


2,091 can be a nice number. It could be the year in which alien life is discovered. It could be the price of a 7-piece living room set. It could be the amount of my bonus this year.

In the case of CNN, it is the number of U.S. troops killed in Iraq as of this morning. Every time another of our men or women in uniform makes the ultimate sacrifice for freedom, CNN adds another point to their death tally.

I feel that this trivializes the loss of a human life. This person has a family and friends. This person was doing something important and we may never know what it was. The least CNN could do is give a soldier some dignity in their death. When our battle group lost shipmates in the attack on the USS Cole, we all felt it. America needs to feel for those lost in Iraq.

I want everyone to know who each of these brave young men and women were. What was their motivation for joining the military? What was their background? Did they know how much I appreciated what they were doing for me?

For the idiots like Murtha who think we shouldn't be there to help the Iraqis form a democracy, remember that if it weren't for France (that's right, France) we may not have won our own independence. Let's make sure that those who sacrificed it all can see the formation of a free Iraq from their place in Heaven.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Let's Talk Surrender

The Dems have stepped up their attacks on "Bush's Iraq War" by having Vietnam veteran and traitor to freedom Rep. John Murtha step up to the podium and ask for the immediate withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.

After checking that it wasn't, in fact, Saddam Hussein or Jacques Chirac in a mask:
White House spokesman Scott McClellan compared Murtha with anti-war filmmaker Michael Moore and echoed earlier statements by House GOP leaders in accusing him of "surrender."
Murtha had to step in to defend himself by stating:
"I like guys who've never been there who criticize us who've been there," Murtha said. "I like that. I like guys who got five deferments and never been there and sent people to war and then don't like to hear suggestions that what may need to be done."
Oh, yeah. I think I remember seeing Murtha in Iraq. What?! He’s that old guy?! Never mind.

Let's ask the guys in Iraq what they think? Ask them if they are ready to call the job 'done'. Rep. Duncan Hunter has a pretty good idea.
Hunter, whose son currently serves in the Marines, said U.S. troops should leave only when, "in the judgment of the war-fighting commanders, Iraqis are capable of defending their own country."
Hey, Big Murtha, do you think those guys would know what it's like over there? Maybe they would have a suggestion for you. I know I do and since I HAVE been over there maybe you'll listen: Shut your fat face unless you have a suggestion on how to end this war WITHOUT the terrorists winning.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Carnival of Comedy

#29 is at Radioactive Liberty. Fitch has all of 'teh funny' that is... the bomb.

And it's his 100th post! Congratulations!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

He Said... She Said...

This Plame case is beginning to take on an aspect of old lady's gossip.

Fitzgerald says Libby lied. Libby says he doesn't remember. Woodward says someone else leaked the name before Libby. He won't say who, because he is rightfully protecting his source. Rove did not talk to Woodward, so he can't be the source. Valerie Wilson is still safe and sound at CIA headquarters.

My bet is that Joe Wilson told someone who his wife was and they let it slip to the reporters long before any Bush administration official did.

It is worthy to note, though, that Fox news says that Rove didn't discuss Wilson with Woodward... twice. Don't you forget it. This is not the official you are looking for.

HT: Zaphriel's Blog

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Time to Vent... Again

Humor is an important thing. It relieves stress, lowers tension, and may even be healthy. Subject matter for jokes can vary widely. Sometimes the subject may be inappropriate, but this often depends on the audience and the place. You may not want to start telling blonde jokes at a funeral or in the middle of church, but then again, that can depend on the situation.

At my job, we have a diverse workforce. All of the jokes that have been told here, I would find appropriate for any audience. Our human resources department apparently thinks otherwise.

You may remember the post that I had with the picture of George Bush Sr. and Jr. in the boat, well it was from an email that was circulating around our office. The picture was plainly photoshopped and was only meant as a joke, but someone found it offensive. Someone that doesn't even work here.

Of course, if they are checking the emails then they know about this blog and so I'll probably get in trouble just for writing this, even though I haven't mentioned my company's name or my own.

Big brother is watching.

Dinner at Basil's

Monday, November 14, 2005

Evil Walmart

Normally I can't stand radio commercials. Stupid jingles, bad voice artists, and lack of good music make me want to change the station. Yesterday, though, I finally heard one that made a difference in my life. It was for a group called Walmart Watch. They even had a jingle set to a Christmas song.

They are holding an event called 'Higher Expectations Week' this week and I'm encouraging every person in my area to participate. You see, Walmart is an evil corporation bent on destroying communities with greed. They are obviously in league with Satan, even though, "through its community grants, the company already gives money to many local church projects." That is just a cover up for Satanic activity. Walmart associates must have to drink goats blood while dancing around a pentagram or something like that.

So stop going to Walmart. Especially avoid it during the after-Thanksgiving sale. Stay away.

Then the checkout lines will be shorter for me.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Adding Another Feed

No Need to Click Here - I'm just claiming my feed at Feedster

The Patriotic Media

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

Harvey has been questioning the patriotism of our mainstream media. At his behest, I did some investigating and found the following:

CNN refers to the bombings in Jordan as 'blasts'. 'Bombing' makes it sound like a terrorist act and these were clearly freedom fighters.

ABC News looks at the plight of the peace-loving Sunnis who just want the U.S. to pull out of Iraq so they can vote.

CBS News reports the violation of the holiest of books, the Quran. It's good that they accompany the article with the flag of Pakistan instead of a photo of the churches that are burning.

MSNBC keeps a good tally on the body count from President Bushitler's illegal war in Iraq.

Finally, the New York Times shows that the U.S. intellegence agencies are trying to make up lies about Iran's obviously peaceful nuclear program.

You just don't get more patriotic than that. If you disagree, than you are a Nazi.

Good Vibes

I'm not much into rap, but it good to see that the 2005 Vibe awards went off without a hitch. Of course they had armed security all over the place and metal detectors at the entrance. You know things are bad when an event attended by some of the most prominant musicians requires more security than a maximum security prison.
Last year, violence overshadowed the show when audience member Jimmy James Johnson approached rapper and producer Dr. Dre, seated at a table in front of the stage, and appeared to ask for an autograph before punching him. A chair-throwing melee ensued and Johnson was then allegedly stabbed by rapper Young Buck.
They don't have problems like this at the CMA awards and they only have one security guard:

Clint Eastwood

"Do you feel lucky punk? Well, do you?'"

Brunch at Basil's

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Who's Askin'?

I know I'm still relatively new to the blogging community and as such may not be the most interesting thing to talk about. Regardless of that, I have offered to be subject to an interview over at Basil's Blog.

Place your questions. Do your worst. Make me cry, if you must. Just don't ask me why Ted Kennedy's head is so big. That is beyond explanation.

The France Model

Ever since I heard about the rioting in France, I've been wondering what would cause a riot of this magnitude. I remember the riots in L.A. after the Rodney King fiasco, but if memory serves, that lasted only a few days.

Looking to the MSM, I am bombarded by those who wish to make it a race issue. 'It's not their fault, they aren't given a fair chance because they are immigrants.' I'm not willing to believe that.

Looking at the condition of France as a whole, the reason begins to take form. The liberal model of big government has taken hold in France and caused regulation of housing, healthcare and the job market. This is micro-management to an extreme.
France is one of the strongest defenders of the European Social Model. The main feature of the Model is a big state -- with high taxes, a regulated labor market, public welfare monopolies and large social security systems. But after the events in Paris, isn't it about time that France too realizes that this is an anti-social model that we should leave behind?
This is what happens if liberalism is allowed to take complete control. You try and make every person the same and someone always gets left behind. In our country, it would be conservative white males, but in France it's the Muslim, Arab, and black immigrants.
Leaving this anti-social model behind may be the most important thing we could do to create better opportunities for immigrants. They want to contribute to society, they want to work -- not just be locked up in suburbs denied every opportunity.
Employers are regulated so far that they resort to discrimination, taxes are so high that economic growth is stifled, and regulated housing creates ghettos. Let this serve as a warning for those on the left who want our government to cater to their every need. Be careful what you wish for, it may lead to riots.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Evil Glenn's Lawsuit

(A Filthy Lie)

Glenn Reynolds, the unstoppable force behind the Libertarian Movement and puppy-blender extraordinaire, has gone too far this time. The revenue from the few ads he has on his blog has not been adequate to sustain his plan for world domination, therefore he has gone to the lowest level.

Evil Glenn is using that law degree of his to bring a class action law suit against, none other than... Jesus. He thinks he has quite a case against the Son of God on the grounds of making Christians want to display symbols of Christianity. He has teamed up with the ACLU to try and force Jesus to remove all evidence of His existence.

Jesus's attorney had this to say, "The Savior will fight these ridiculous allegations. We plan to show that people WANT to display these symbols as proof of their faith. It's freedom of religion we are talking about here."

Reynolds responded by saying, "If He wants us to believe He exists, let Him come here and tell us in person."

St. Peter and Moses are expected to testify at the hearing that is slated to begin sometime in this millennium.

Bullet-proof Vest for the Mascot

Last night was the regional semifinals for the Clark County high school football teams. Cimarron-Memorial is in the Sunset region and they won last night's game vs. Cheyenne High School. My stepson is the mascot for Cimarron-Memorial and as such, he had a wonderful time. My wife was also in attendance with our 1 year-old. During the game, my wife heard what sounded like fireworks in the parking lot. Today, we found out that it was, in fact, gunshots.

It was some idiot gang members trying to kill each other in a drive-by. Luckily no one was hurt.

I want my family to feel safe, especially at something as wholesome as a high school football game. I support the use of metal detectors at the gates and having armed security to make suer everyone behaves. Unfortunately, now I have to worry about the s***-head gang members driving down the street next to the school.

I have the solution for this. Put all of the rival gang members inside Sam Boyd stadium and surround the field with bullet-proof glass. Give them each a handgun with 5 rounds and let them at each other. Last one standing gets $1,000,000 but has to leave town. I'm sure there wouldn't be an empty seat in the stadium.

Cross-posted at Brothers Dim
A Saturday Special at Jo's Cafe
Dessert at Basil's

Vote Now

Once again the LMDC is trying to ruin the 9/11 memorial, this time by stealing funds that should rightfully go to its construction.

While the LMDC has repeatedly said that the Memorial will take fund raising precedence, it is hard to believe that is what will happen when they are handing out $35 million federal dollars (your money) in the form of grants "to existing and new cultural institutions downtown."
Go to the Take Back the Memorial website and vote to put this money toward building the 9/11 memorial.

Happy Veterans Day

To all of those who have or are still serving our country, my sincerest thanks. If it weren't for our armed forces, we would have no country, no freedom, nothing to call our own.

I'm proud to be a veteran and to be a member of the VFW. If you know someone who was or is currently in the military, remember to thank them for the hard work and long hours they put in to keep our country free.

Linked to Basil's Blog

Thursday, November 10, 2005

A New Era of Blogging

It is still in its infancy, but it may grow up to be a big blog some day. Say hello to 'Brothers Dim'. I have joined up with by brother Jermcool of Abolition of Stupidity on a quest to... well... do something...

Just go check it out.

Long Time Off

I just got done with 6 days off of work. Yay for me. Unfortunately, that meant being away from the blog and sure enough, some little brat kids are playing in my comments section.

Okay, time out. This is a blog. I post stuff, you comment on sed stuff and the cycle continues. This is NOT a chat room. This is not your teenie bopper friend's site on Myspace. If you wish to make a relevent comment, feel free to do so even if it is simply to stomp on me for my opinion on the subject at hand. Any comments other than those pertaining to the subject matter will be removed.

Thanks to Blogger for FINALLY putting in comment moderation.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Go Vote

If you live in the Communist-wealth of Virginia or the state of New Jersey, this is your chance to get a GOP candidate in the Governor's seat.

For anyone unaware of how bad Virginia is, they require city stickers for vehicles to make sure the cities get to tax you to death as well. I know of an incident in which a sailor had his car towed in Virginia Beach because he had a Norfolk city sticker on his car and was spending the night at a friend's house. This caused him to have to get his car out of impound and pay the towing fees, even though what he did was perfectly legal.

Guess which state I refuse to ever visit again.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas

I just about peed myself when I read this. Never one to be afraid to speak his mind, Las Vegas mayor extraordinaire, Oscar Goodman, suggested on live T.V. that vandals who are caught defacing public property should... this is sooooo good... have their thumbs cut off on live T.V.

There have been times that I have disagreed with our mayor, but on this, I think he may have something. I believe that our society has gone soft on crime and it is past time to clean up the streets. Okay, maybe not by cutting off thumbs but make a punishment that is more fitting to the crime committed.

Liberalism has penetrated our society so far as to make what was unacceptable, acceptable. There are so many restrictions on our judicial system that many criminals now walk the streets. This will be the downfall of society and it may just start with one street vandal spray-painting a turtle.

World peace, although a wonderful thought, will forever be unattainable. Freedoms will forever be at threat from tyrants and there must be people and laws to protect them. Punish those who break the law, lest they break it again.

Good on you, Mr. Goodman. Drink up.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Glenn Reynolds: The Musical

(A Filthy Lie)

Instapundit on Ice? Puppyblender: The E! True Hollywood Story? No. It's Glenn Reynolds: The Musical.

It has comedy, drama, nanotechnology. See as our hero attempts once again to take on Michelle Malkin for control of the Blogosphere! Glenn Reynolds: The Musical also has a heart-warming love story between a man and his puppies.

Scene: Glenn Reynolds in his kitchen.

Glenn: Here, puppy. You want to go for a ride in the blender?
Puppy: Yip!
Glenn: Muahahaha!
It won't be long now
With excitement, I quake
Sweet little puppy
Tastes good in a shake

Destined for Broadway, it's Glenn Reynolds: The Musical.

What shall become of me?
Malkin has beaten me.
Puppies are running free.

Produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber in conjunction with Hobo-killer productions.

8 Days of Violence

Paris, France is in a heap of trouble. Today marks the 8th day of rioting in the streets after 2 teenage boys were electrocuted and another injured while hiding from police in an electrical substation. Cars are being torched. Police are being shot at. Chirac asks for 'dialogue'.
"The law must be applied firmly and in a spirit of dialogue and respect," Chirac told a Cabinet meeting Wednesday. "The absence of dialogue and an escalation of a lack of respect will lead to a dangerous situation."
I'd swear he was reading out of the U.N. guidebook to get that line.
A police union official proposed establishing a curfew and bringing in the military to help handle the rioting, while some members of the opposition Socialist Party have suggested the police should withdraw from the communities to quell the unrest.
Wow! Have the police removed? How have these people kept their country from being overrun by vigilantes is beyond me.

Okay you frog-eating idiots, do what the police union official suggests and bring in the military. They might be able to get the riots under control.

That is unless they surrender first.

This looks like the beginnings of another dark page in France's history. Perhaps even darker than the revolt on Louis-Philippe in 1848.

The Latest Carnival of Comedy

#27 is presented by Sun Comprehending Glass. Short but sweet.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

An Empty Post

It's one of those days.

I awoke yesterday afternoon after recovering from another long night shift. As is my habit, I went immediately to the shower to restore life to my brain. Whilst in the shower, an idea came to me. It was to be my finest post yet, filled with wit and bound to cause a serious philosophical discussion to ensue. Here's the problem: I didn't write it down.

I came to work, excited to type up this wonderful thought-provoking jewel. In the car I had my book-on-tape running; Starship Titanic, a novel by Douglas Adams and Terry Jones. It's been a while since I had last listened to it and was enjoying it quite thoroughly. Listen, laugh... forget all about what it was I was going to write.

I wracked my brain all night until now, when I have decided to resign all hope of ever remembering my little jewel of wisdom.

I bet Socrates never had this problem.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Basil Rocks

Why, you may ask? Well, I had been having some trouble with my blogger template. Specifically, the blogroll labeled as "My Reads" would disappear everytime I clicked on a permalink. Basil to the rescue. Even though he's been so incredibly busy setting up his new account, he took time out to help me.

Thanks Basil.

Remember, if you have an issue with your blog, send him an email at

Day By Day© by Chris Muir.