Image courtesy of Cooltext.com

This is the old site. Click the title to go to the new Shoot a Liberal.

*Disclaimer: Don't actually shoot liberals... Impaling is much more satisfying. But then again, there's always walking the plank...

Monday, October 31, 2005

Here Come Da Judge

For all of those who were sorely disappointed about the nomination of Harriet Miers, I think we have been redeemed. Samuel Anthony Alito Jr. has been named to replace Sandra Day O'Connors seat on the supreme court.

This means that I get my wish of seeing Ted Kennedy pop a vein in his forehead. Yay! Shall we see what the DU is saying about this? First comment on the topic says to start the filibuster now. Funny since the senate confirmation hearings haven't even started yet. I guess the leftys want to filibuster... nothing. Oh, but this guy doesn't think Alito will make it past confirmation. Shall we make a bet on that?

I absolutely love seeing moonbat over-reactions. They're always good for a laugh.

Linked to: Stop the ACLU

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Einstein on Evil

Steve the Pirate has a tale of a student who puts a professor in his place. The student: Albert Einstein.

This is by far the best definition of what evil is that I have ever heard.

If There Was No Military

Imagine it: You can't go outside without fearing for your life. Some foreign country has just invaded, since we no longer have a means to defend ourselves, and our freedom is at stake. That's the kind of world that the people of Project Counter-Recruitment want.

They are trying to restrict access to high school campuses and student information from military recruiters. The same access and information that is fully available to colleges and potential employers. They are attempting to establish a double standard.

I have a solution for you liberal weenies. You don't want recruiters on the campus, fine. We will go to a system of mandatory military service for all kids at the age of 18. 2 years of serving your country, no excuses. Don't like it? Then stop interfering with military recuiters who are trying to get kids to VOLUNTEER to serve their country. We need these young men and women to defend our freedom from threats, foreign and domestic. If you make it too hard for recruiters to gain access to them, then the next time we have a war, your kid will serve, like it or not. Why? He(or she)'s been drafted.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

For Sale

If you live in or around Clark County and need a car, have I got the deal for you!

2001 Toyota Corolla LE
$7,200
87,000 Miles
Automatic Transmission
4-Cylinder Engine

Additional Info:
Factory rear spoiler, factory CD radio, well maintained and clean, excellent gas mileage: 30+ MPG.

Condition Description:
New tires. New brake rotors and pads. Very good paint, few small chips. Clean inside and out.

Features:
A/C
Airbag: Driver & Passenger
CD Cassette Radio
Cruise Control
Power Locks
Power Steering
Power Windows


(Is this blatant misuse of a blog?)

U.N. Turns the Big Six-oh

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

What do you get for that special person on their big day? When it comes to the U.N., it's hard to find something for the person who has everything. Sure they traded food to get it, but what do you do now?

Well I've got the perfect gift. Boy, is Kofi going to be surprised when he opens up the box and finds... the deed for the new U.N. headquarters!

That's right! Goodbye, New York. Hello, Pakistan!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I got a great deal on the land. I just had to promise that the U.N. would ACTUALLY give aid to the people who lost everything to the earthquake. I'm sure Kofi will gladly oblige. The White House already agreed to pay the moving expenses.

Happy birthday U.N.! Now get out!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Scooter Indicted

This whole indictment kick that prosecutors are on it getting to be a little tiresome. CNN has a list of the charges that Libby is being indicted on. Let's take a close look and see what they are all about:

Charge 1: Obstruction of Justice.
Alleges that Libby intentionally deceived the grand jury about how he learned, and "disclosed to the media," information about Valerie Plame Wilson's employment by the CIA.
This is saying that Libby tried to cover up something that apparently wasn't a crime. Huh?

Charge 2: Making a false statement.
Alleges that Libby intentionally gave FBI agents false information about a conversation he had with NBC's Tim Russert regarding Valerie Plame Wilson, who is married to Joseph Wilson.
A conversation that occurred 2.5 years earlier. 'Who's this Tim Russert again?'

Charge 3: Making a false statement.
Alleges that Libby knowingly gave the FBI false information about what he had told reporter Matt Cooper of Time magazine regarding Valerie Plame Wilson.
Again, 2.5 years earlier. I can't remember things I said yesterday.

Charge 4: Perjury.
Alleges that Libby knowingly provided false testimony in court about a conversation he had with Russert.
So that's his story and he's sticking to it.

Charge 5: Perjury.
Alleges that Libby knowingly provided false testimony in court about his conversation with reporters regarding Valerie Plame Wilson's CIA employment.
Yeah, got it. Fitzgerald thinks that he'll get Libby convicted on lying about something he probably has no recollection about. Or maybe Libby lied about not recollecting. Or maybe this is just the actions of an overzealous prosecutor to put more stress on the Bush administration.

I'm going with door #3. I bet Michael Moore is hitting the celebratory buffet tonight.

Miers is Out

I have mixed feelings about this. We never really got to see what her judicial philosophy was, but Bush shouldn't have thrown us a curve ball in the first place. I think he's best action now would be to choose a nominee that conservatives can feel good about backing, such as Janice Rogers Brown. Give the Left something to fume over.

Mrs. R. posting at Wazzadem let's her feelings out with no reservations. Strangely, it echos the sentiment from Ralph G. Neas, President of People For the American Way.

'Are You Conservative?', indeed.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Heil Alliance!

(A Filthy Lie)

The truth has come out. The Alliance is not as it seems. We are, as they say, dirty rotten racial supremacist Nazis.

We didn't start out as such. When the Alliance was fist born of the bowels of Frank J., it was good and pure. The filthy lies of Evil Glenn were innocent fun. Then came Harvey, with his penguin porn lies. It all went downhill from there.

We started meeting in secret. The lies began to take form in truths. Glenn Reynolds did, in fact, become evil. And we were forced to take oaths to uphold communism and nazism.

I'm not proud of this. You must believe that it was innocent at the start and had I known how far it would go...

I would have stayed!!! Muahahaha! Heil Alliance! Down with Puppy-blenders!

Nuking Japan

60 years after dropping the first two atomic weapons ever built on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, we putting nukes off the shore of Japan. Not nuclear weapons; nuclear reactors.
United States and Japanese officials have agreed to allow the Navy to station a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier in Japan for the first time, the Navy announced Thursday.
This is an awesome show of trust from the people of Japan. No other nation, to my knowledge, has allowed a nuclear aircraft carrier to be stationed there permanently. Let this be a testament to other countries on how safe our nuclear program is.
Nuclear-powered warships have visited Japanese ports more than 1,200 times since 1964. The Navy said the United States has provided firm commitments to the government of Japan regarding the safe use of Japanese ports by the nuclear powered warships, and it pledged to observe strictly all safety precautions and procedures.
This should also be a testament to the lefty freaks in Greenpeace as to how far they overreact. They protested nuclear carriers being stationed in San Diego when they already have one of the largest submarine bases in the nation. Subs don't run on solar power, I can tell you that much.

Kudos to you, Japan.

Angry? Me?

I just noticed that all of my Google ads are for anger management or psychotherapy.

Are you trying to say something to me, Google? Huh? You want to make something of it? C'mon you pansy! I'll knock you into next week!

*huff, puff*

I'm okay now. Wow, that was a close one.

Carnival of Comedy #26

Ron Popeil

Hi there folks! I'm Ron Popeil with an all new invention that you can't live without.

Some of you may already have one of my great inventions, such as the Showtime Rotisserie oven or Solid Flavor Injector but you have seen nothing yet!

For all of you who live dull, boring lives, I have created the Carnival of Comedy #26! With this invention, you can amuse all of your friends with stories and jokes that will leave them in stitches! You may have seen similar products advertised on IMAO or the IMAO podcast, but believe me when I say that THIS is the original and best Carnival of Comedy.

Look at all the great things that come with the Carnival of Comedy #26:

-The Evil Emperor Mindstation's electric love machine. (Point Five, Emperor Mindstation)
-Be a set designer for Osama! (Platypus-Society.net)
-The scoop on Trace Gallagher's new job. (Point Five, A4G)
-Spam's effect on Harriet Miers (Literal Barrage)
-Jon Corzine eats what?! (GOP and the City)
-See Dick scream. (Dr. Phat Tony's)
-Costumes to warn your kids about. (The Nose On Your Face)
-Another great invention by Bush and Rove. 'Rummytummy' (File it Under)

Ron Popeil

Isn't that incredible? But wait! If you order during this show, we will throw in the following for no extra charge:

-Nascar drivers wearing diapers! (Drawing the Line)
-The dark side of the letter G. (RHOG)
-Damian G. on drugs. (Conservathink)
-16 horror flicks you can live without. (The Right Place)
-Saddam looking for a new lawyer. (Vox Poplar) *Strong language
-Why there are plumbers. (Big Picture, Small Office)
-Al Franken, funny? Since when? (Striving For Average)
-What Cindy Sheehan did in jail. Actually, who. (The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles)
-Why high school is overrated. (Immature With No Conscience)
-Air Memorial? (Don't Go Into The Light)
-Brevity. (The World According to Nick)

Ron Popeil

Yes, it's a great deal but it's about to get better. If you promise to tell just five of your friends or family about the Carnival of Comedy #26, we will include, for no extra charge:

-Party with Moveon.org! (Radioactive Liberty)
-Make liberals our slaves? (Embrace The Nothingness)
-Whole lotta pumpkin. (In Search of What's Next)
-I hate people like this. (Miriam's ideas)
-Miers ain't pretty. (Mean Ol' Meany)
-Crappy time with The King. (Customerservant.com)
-A fifty mile run? Because you want to? (Runalong)
-Good math gone wrong. (Political Calculations)
-Gorillas gone wild. (The Idiom)

Ron Popeil

Now THAT is a deal! What are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and call right now! Operators are standing by.

(Notice: The previous was NOT a paid advertisement from Ronco Inc. It was meant only as a parody. If your submission was missed, feel free to email me at shootaliberal(at)gmail(dot)com or add it to the comments.)

Carnival of Comedy...

Will be a little late... Sorry. *cringe*

You see, I gave Spacemonkey my work e-mail and... well... I'm working night shift.

It will be up. I promise. It will just be a late night edition.

Thanks for understanding... Hey, what's with the torches and pitchforks?

Update: I'm at work and they blocked Gmail. Now I'm going to have to try something else... Geez, those pitchforks are pointy.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Centcom Releases Statement Regarding Alleged Misconduct

From Centcom:

October 20, 2005
Release Number: 05-10-74


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


UPDATE: ALLEGED MISCONDUCT BY U.S. FORCES

KABUL , Afghanistan – The Army Criminal Investigation Division continues its investigation into alleged misconduct by U.S. service members, including the burning of two dead enemy combatant bodies under inappropriate circumstances.

“The inflammatory nature of this allegation raises two pertinent concerns that the command is investigating,” said Army Colonel Jim Yonts, Combined Forces Command – Afghanistan , Public Affairs Officer. “First, the command does not advocate, nor does the command tolerate, the wrongful desecration of anyone’s remains. Second, the use of broadcast messages in conjunction with an act such as this does not represent the values and beliefs of this command therefore necessitating a procedural and policy review.”

“These are very serious allegations and if true, they are reprehensible. If the investigation reveals misconduct those responsible will be held accountable under the Uniform Code of Military Justice,” he said

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT CFC-A PUBLIC AFFAIRS BY EMAIL AT Kabul-Presscenter@cfc-a.centcom.mil OR BY PHONE AT 070-276-545

Sean's note:

If this is true, I find it appaling that anyone in uniform would do this. Much like Abu Graib, it puts our armed forces in a bad light.

That said, I think it is past time for the media and Washington D.C. to get the heck out of the way so that our military can finish the job in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every time I hear about another casualty in the middle east on the evening news, I want to shout "That's WAR!" It's a terrible thing that we have to do. Occasionally, civilians may get harmed in the process. Regretfully, that is the truth in any war.

All this is going to do is add fuel to the Liberal's fire and get more of our soldiers killed.

Such a Sweet Boy

I'm sure by now you have heard about this 16-year old kid who killed a lawyer's wife in Lafayette, CA. He's facing the possibility of life in prison for the crime and rightly so. Unfortunately, he is too young for the death penalty.

Looking at the progression of this kid into a murderer, I tend to wonder where things went wrong. Those on the liberal left would say that it is the fault of video games or the oppression of society. I have another view.

I'd bet that Scott Dyleski was NEVER spanked as a kid. He probably never faced any sort of punishment from parents that could care less how their kid grew up. He wore gothic clothing, claimed to read from the 'book of Satan', was involved in credit card scams, and was trying to get into drug sales. These are not the actions of a kid who had love and discipline. And his mother allows all of this to go on under her roof? Either she was involved or she is incredibly stupid.
His stepfather, Glenn Hirschberger, described him as a "thoughtful, intelligent young man" incapable of the brutal attack on Vitale.

"Not Scott - absolutely not," Hirschberger, who was married to the boy's mother for about four years in the 1990s, told the Chronicle. "There's absolutely no way he'd be involved in anything like this. He's not a fighter. He's not a violent kid."
'Thoughtful,intelligent' criminal, you mean. In my opinion, I feel the parents should be on the stand with their kid, facing the same charges.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Carnival of Comedy #25

Is up at Laurence Simon's place.

Hey at least I wasn't dead last.

Also, remember that I will be hosting the Carnival next week. I'll be a lot funnier.

Just a Thought

How long before Bush gets blamed for hurricane Wilma?

Be safe Floridians.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Insta-Liberal?

What is Glenn Reynolds thinking? He's allowing Planned Parenthood to have ad space on his blog?


Is this the image Glenn Reynolds wants? Showing support for an organization that is more interested in killing babies than stopping women from getting pregnant in the first place?

Drop the ad Glenn. There are better ways to get revenue for your site.

To the people of Planned MurderParenthood, Roe v. Wade should never have seen the Supreme Court. Murder is murder, however you want to classify it.

Update: Read more about the evils of Planned Parenthood here.

Linked on: Jo's Cafe, Conservative Cat

Monday, October 17, 2005

Rain Sucks


Stupid weather.

Stupid lightning knocked out my radio at work. No music now.

Stupid rain grounding out equipment. Makes stupid alarms come in.

Stupid rain makes it cold out. Want to go home where it is warm and dry.

Stupid complaining making my readers sick of me. Gotta go now and stop some more alarms.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Frank J. is Going to Kill Me

You Are A: Monkey!

monkeyMonkeys are intelligent and agile, well-adapted for jungle life as they swing happily from tree to tree. As a monkey, you are a social animal who eats a wide range of food, is quick to learn new things and loves to climb. A monkey's tiny primate features are irresistable, as is his gregarious personality!

You were almost a: Parakeet or a Puppy
You are least like a: Turtle or a GroundhogDiscover What Cute Animal You Are!
I better go hide. I know what Frank J. does to monkeys.

HT: Jo's Cafe

Tech Support Nightmares

I've always loved stories about the horrors of tech support calls, probably because I don't have to deal with the general public in my job. My brother, on the other hand, does have to do the tech support thing. I asked him what his favorite call was. Here it is, via email:

Hmmm...My favorite tech support call goes like this:

-----
"Hi! I've got this phone and it's not going."
"What type of phone is it?"
"It's a long-range cordless."
"What's the model?"
"Where do I find that?"
"Underneath the battery of the handset or underneath the base station."
*phone gets disconnected*
*client calls back*
"Sorry - I unplugged the battery and the phone disconnected..."
-----

True story, unfortunately. There should be a sign people see before
they call tech support. "You're IQ must be this tall to make this
call."
Note how the customer is making the call from the phone that is "not going". I don't think I'll be quitting my job anytime soon...

Thanks Jermcool.

Killing More Puppies Than Evil Glenn

PETA, the organization that teaches your kids that it is okay to "Cut Class, Not Frogs", also teaches that it is okay to shoot dogs full of barbituates and then throw them in dumpsters. It's the kind and gentle thing to do.

The cats and dogs two PETA employees have been charged with euthanizing and dumping in an Ahoskie garbage bin were killed by injections of pentobarbital, a barbiturate commonly used to put down animals, according to new warrants issued and served on Friday.
"The garbage bin was behind a Chinese restaraunt.", says PETA President Ingrid Newkirk, "We thought no one would notice."

PETA employees Andrew B. Cook, 24, of Virginia Beach, and Adria J. Hinkle, 27, of Norfolk, were served with warrants on 22 felony charges of animal cruelty and the three felony charges of obtaining property by false pretense in court on Friday.
Bertie County and Northampton County officials will not be giving PETA animals anymore. Unfortunately, some brainless individuals will continue to give them money and our government will allow them to get a tax deduction for it.

HT: Noahware

Day-by-Day

I love this strip by Chris Muir. You can read it everyday at the bottom of my main posts. Now it seems Chris is getting in on the 'Filthy Lie' racket:

Heh. Indeed.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Plame Game Continues

So Judith Miller has her first day in court and tells the prosecutor that she "believed the information came from another source, whom I could not recall". Heh.

What do they expect from a woman they threw in the slammer for 85 days because she wouldn't reveal a source? I'd probably play the same game. Patrick Fitzgerald has got his work cut out for him.

And what day would be complete if they didn't bring Karl Rove back? He saw Fitzgerald on Friday in what Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, called "testifying voluntarily". Karl even came prepared with his black hooded robe, fresh packed in shrink-wrap:

Image courtesy AP

He FedEx-ed the magic wand and 'eye of newt'.

New Linky Love

I've added Noahware to my blogroll. Noah's get some great stuff on his blog. Video clips, commentary, and a picture of Dick Durban's giant head.

Go now. Enjoy. Put yourself on his guestmap.

And don't believe everything you see...

Coffee Anyone?

If you have a drip coffee maker, you must read this.

I have encountered too many people that do not know what a good cup of coffee is. Here is your answer. You will not be disappointed.

Of course, I went the way of true coffee snobs and got a Senseo.

HT: Harvey

I'm Molting

Has anyone ever heard of anything like this? Every spring and autumn, the skin on my hands begins to itch and then peels like I had some kind of weird sunburn. I try to use lotion, but it seems to have no effect. Eventually it stops but I know that in 6 months it will happen again.

Maybe I have some reptile genes.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Work for the Pope

Photo courtesy AP
-Do you have faith in God?
-Are you Catholic?
-Do you look good in black?
-Are you willing to give up any chance of a sex life?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be ready for the priesthood!

Yes, thanks to the "Fishers of Men" program, you now have the chance to don the uniform of an ordained priest. In only 5 short years, using our approved program you can learn the following:

-How to bless
-How to give communion
-How to take confession
-How not to touch little boys

Our program is guaranteed or your money back. Subject to applicable laws. Taxes and fees extra. Zero interest only on approved credit. Program does not guarantee eternal life.

Linked with: Basil's Blog

Miers... Who's That?

I'm proud to say that unlike John at Wuzzadem, I have yet to blog about Harriet Miers.

Yeah, no urges here...

None...

Okay, so about this Harriet Miers nomination. I think everyone that is automatically opposing her simply because they don't know her should stop flapping their jaws and just listen to the confirmation. Nobody except Bush, Rove and herself knows what goes on in this woman's head. Do you really think she will breeze through the hearings without giving at least some idea of what her judicial beliefs are?

There. I'm done now. Back to whatever else is going on in the world...

And do you think that fatty Ted Kennedy will actually use his brain for once and skip over the whole Roe v. Wade issue? No nominee is going to give their opinion on specific cases. That would be stupid and probably guarantee that they don't get confirmed.

I'm done now. Really...

And then there is Harry Reid with his "I'm glad he chose a woman." How is that going to affect ANYTHING? I know some women that think that the place for women is in the home. Kinda ruins the whole 'woman's equality / women's rights' thing. What if she believes that way? Who else can you push your lefty feminazi agenda on?

Okay... Enough... Whew!

Inside Evil Glenn's Head

(A Filthy Lie)

I've done the impossible. I have obtained the top secret psychiatric files of Glenn Reynolds.

There are untold evils in here that are the stuff of nightmares and horror flicks.

Glenn has a recurring dream of bathing nude with Ted Kennedy and Harry Reid. Glenn wants to be a mother to some alien species. Glenn has an unnatural fear of spaghetti-o's.

Most frightening of all is what the voices in his head are saying. He was told by one that it would be a GOOD idea to support the ACLU.

Another voice calls him "Pip" and says he should try to fly off buildings.

Yet another says that he can be greater than Michelle Malkin if he simply squirts Karl Rove in the face with a water pistol.

Scary.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Does This Scare You?

Ever since I heard about this infamous bird flu, I am reminded of the whole SARS fiasco and West Nile virus. I have been bitten by a number of mosquitos and if I have gotten West Nile, I didn't notice.

I can't help but think that this is just another media scare they can use to keep ratings up. There is nothing people like more than thinking they are in mortal danger. It gets the adrenaline pumping and makes the heart race. That's why there are things like rollercoasters.

If this thing spreads to humans, I'll get worried. Until then, I'm going to sit back, relax, and watch as they kill more chickens.

I bet PETA just loves this.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Can the Padres Pull it Off?

Sure they are 0 for 2 so far but this Saturday they are back home at Petco park. Woody Williams has won only 9 games this season, but I wouldn't count him out as this is 'win or go home' time. It's crunch time and we may yet see the Padres make a comeback.

Go Padres!

One of the 'experts' at ESPN thinks they might win the series 3-2. Thanks Olney!

Slamming Bill

The things I have been hearing about Bill O'Reilly lately would trully shock you. The most shocking thing has not yet come out. Take a close look at this photo:
Does that hair look natural to you? It should. You see Bill O'Reilly actually uses hair harvested from monkeys to cover his cranium. Here is a photo taken just before the procedure:
Its time for the truth to come out Bill! Tell the people about your male pattern baldness and don't try to 'spin' the truth!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Maybe She Should Drive

Lorrie Heasley got booted off a Southwest airlines flight for wearing a shirt with the statement "Meet the f**kers" accompanied by pictures of George Bush, Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney. Naturally, she and her stupid left wing wacko buddies are claiming that it is a violation of her right to free speech. Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that it had an obscenity on it.

Things like this make me wonder if stupid actually is a disease and that it spreads to the American public from carriers like Michael Moore and Jesse Jackson. I have a 16 year old stepson that owns a shirt with picture of G.G. Allin and a quote from him that is questionable in nature. My stepson realizes that there are certain places he cannot wear that shirt so as to not offend someone's sensibilities. Yet this grown woman can't figure out that offensive words are not acceptable in public?

Word to the ACLU: Don't try to make some political issue out of this. This is not a 1st ammendment case since it is private party. Southwest gave her the option of removing the offending shirt and she decided to leave. Game over. If this thing goes to court and a jury finds in favor of this moron, it will signal the end of common sense as we know it.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Who's That?

Here I am, at work, minding my own business and enjoying a cup of tea, when who should send me a TXT message? My brother. Long lost, New Zealand-dwelling, sheepherder.

I think the last time I heard from him was on my birthday (E-card). Now he says he is communicating better. Well at least he checked out my blog. He's Jermcool.

In honor of him coming to my site... it's New Zealand joke time!

Q: What's the New Zealand national motto?

A: The land where men are men and sheep are nervous.

Post your best in the comments section.

Monday, October 03, 2005

DeLay Gets it Again!

What will it take to get Ronnie Earle to give up his witch hunt of Tom DeLay? Now it appears that the Texas prosecutor is going at these 'illegal contributions' in a different manner. Now he has termed it 'money laundering'. This means that if the court does find DeLay guilty, he could face life in prison.
I hope this sheds light on how low certain Democrats will stoop to try and gain control over the government. When this is over and Tom DeLay walks away clean, maybe people will see what dirty tactics like this will get you.
Nothing.



Day By Day© by Chris Muir.