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This is the old site. Click the title to go to the new Shoot a Liberal.

*Disclaimer: Don't actually shoot liberals... Impaling is much more satisfying. But then again, there's always walking the plank...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Spacemonkey is OLD

Go wish Spacemonkey a happy birthday.

He's only 5 years away from needing a walker.

Why Work Sucks

Back in my Navy days, it was an understood that one person could make life terrible for the whole division by screwing up. Now that I'm a civilian, I thought that I wouldn't have to deal with such things. Boy, was I wrong.

One of our employees is coming back off a recent suspension and because of that, I'm no longer able to use the internet for anything other than job related stuff while I'm at work. That is going to make these 12 hour shifts a lot tougher. I used to be able to stream music off of Yahoo while surfing the news and blogs. Now I can't. This means I will very likely be posting less (not that I do much as it is).

Maybe it is time to start looking for a job somewhere else.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

DeLay Indicted

I read the indictment against Tom DeLay and the other members of the Republican Majority PAC. I'm not a lawyer and do not have any history in law at all, but even as a lay person, it seems pretty obvious to me that there was no crime committed here. Tom DeLay is not even mentioned in the actual charges.

Corporations have been donating to political action committees for years. As long as the money is not used to aid the campaign of an individual candidate, the transaction is legal. The indictment does not show how the donation of $190,000 to the RNC (Republican National Committee) was directly from corporations, only that it came from the same bank account. So how is there a case?

The indictment is based solely on the assumption that the court will call the indirect contribution of the money by a corporation in that time period of 60 days before the election (if in fact that money was from a corporation) a crime. A pretty wild stretch if you ask me.

See the Texas Ethics Law here. Specifically read Chapter 253.

Don't tell me it's a coincidence that these charges are brought up right as campaigns are starting to build in preparation for the coming elections.

HT: The Drudge Report

We win!

The IFC has been dropped from the plans for the World Trade Center memorial site. Thanks to all of the people who signed the petition to have the center removed. Now the people who were killed in the attacks of September 11 will have a fitting memorial that honors their lives and sacrifices.

Make sure to check out the link I have to the Take Back The Memorial website to keep updated on the progress of the memorial and to make sure that Gov. Pataki keeps the IFC out of NYC.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

ACLU Fighting "Intellegent Design"

Who would know less about intellegence than the ACLU? Now they are up in arms about a statement that simply says that some things which evolution cannot explain "are too complex to have developed through an undirected process and are best attributed to an unnamed and unseen intelligent agent."

Does it say God? No.
Allah? No.

They are simply saying that science may not have the answers to everything.

''This case is about free inquiry in education, not a religious agenda,'' said Patrick Gillen, in the defense's opening remarks.
Of course, the ACLU is going to use its misinterpretation of the establishment clause to fight away 'creationism'. What is evolution, if not a religion itself? Ever since man came to be, he (Now I'm a sexist) has asked the question of where he came from. This is what religion is. If the question has to be asked, and since there is no absolute proof, faith must prevail, therefore religion.

No matter how hard the ACLU wants a society completely made up of atheists, someone out there is going to ask if Darwin really had it right. It going to be too tough for some to believe that there is no hope for their soul after death and they will search for the truth. Try as they may, the ACLU will not win the day.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Rita is Blowing

...and Cindy Sheehan is trying desperately to hold on to her limelight. If she wasn't so misguided, I'd almost feel sorry for her. It's almost as if I'm watching an episode of a sitcom where the main character just doesn't get the fact that she is the punchline to the joke.

Look what is going on Cindy. There is a storm on its way to cause indeterminable amounts of damage to homes and lives. You are old news. I'm not tuning in.

On to Rita. 95,000 people without power in Texas so far. Water is coming over the sea wall. New Orleans is flooded again. My prayers are with the families in the path of the storm.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Evil Glenn's Final Post

(A Filthy Lie)

20 years in the future:

I heard a rumor that things aren't going so well for the Puppy Blender. His position in the ecosystem has been usurped for the past 5 years by the likes of Michelle Malkin and FrankJ of IMAO. The latter has been the bane of his existence for the past 20+ years and he has stated such in his final post:

I, Glenn Reynolds, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath control of the blogosphere to FrankJ and his Alliance cronies. That's right, you win. Apparently, the people want originality instead of my trademark 'Link and Indeed'. Well, that's just fine with me. I'm going to take my law degree and my piles of money and make a run for the presidency.

Oh, yes. I will be president. I made a deal with his greatness, Satan. My soul for control over the country. Heh. Once it is mine, I will make it impossible for you to do anything on the internet. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, as it will only last for so long.

The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.

The Good News

I've been feeling rather depressed lately as the degradation of our society becomes more and more evident to me. Christianity has become an evil in the minds of organizations such as the ACLU and as such it becomes difficult to even introduce people into the faith. Thankfully, The Bible can now be shown to kids in such a way as to meet the strict requirements that the supreme court has put in place.

This is a great program as it doesn't 'force' religion on kids but does expose them to The Bible. It lets them make up their own minds and allows them see what The Bible has done for society. Perhaps some of these kids will pick it up, read it, and actually get something out of it. I don't mean for all kids to become Christian (as great as that would be), but if they can learn just one lesson from the Word of God, imagine how much better the world could be?

American Jewish Congress (search) attorney Marc Stern, an adviser on the effort, said despite concern over growing tensions among U.S. religious groups, "this book is proof that the despair is premature, that it is possible to acknowledge and respect deep religious differences and yet still find common ground."
Amen, Mr. Stern, amen.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Hatemail Time!

What's this in my inbox? Lefty hatemail? Yippee!

Hey Rightwanker!! Come f--king(edited) shoot THIS LIBERAL Democrat!!! I'm the big red headed bearded guy in Knoxville, Tn. holding the legal class 3 full auto and the AR-15 with the 40 round mag. I've been trying for years to provoke one of you rightwing pu--ies(edited) into coming after me! Here's your chance smegma breath! Come on down and take your best shoot Conservanazi! I've been waiting for the opportunity to drill a .223 or a .308 through a Rightwankers inbred, smegma encrusted, head!! Really want to bag a Lib or are you just another macho 101st keyboarding Chickenhawk!??? - Larry Henderson, Knoxville, Tn., USA
Whoa! Ladies and gentleman, may I proudly introduce the new spokesman for the DU, Larry 'The Psychoman' Henderson. My response:

Dear left wing psycho Larry,

As it is the 21st century and not the old west, I'll have to graciously decline your invitation. The weapons I own are for hunting, target shooting, and home defense. It is nice to know you have a decent arsenal, but if you want to put it to some good use, you can join the Minutemen who are defending our borders from the hordes of illegal aliens that are crossing every day.

If you would have actually taken the time to read my blog, you might have seen that 'Shoot a Liberal' is simply a metaphor for what I write. My topics and ideas are supposed to act like a 'bullet to the brain' of the typical left wing wackjob. So take your itchy trigger finger and put it away before you hurt someone, most likely yourself.


P.S. Boomer is always within reach and he's loaded with 11 rounds of .40 S&W semi-jacket hollowpoints. For home defense.
Just for fun, here is Larry's email address: lhenderson(at)knology(dot)net. Don't want the spambots to get it or he might change it. Feel free to post your responses to this email in the comments.

A Tuesday Special at Jo's Cafe

Monday, September 19, 2005

Maybe I Don't Get It

Why? Why are we going back to the moon?

"It is expensive, but at the same time it's incredibly important because the return to the people of the United States and the world is also very important," DeLay said.
How is it important Tom? What return? I understand that a space program is important since the earth may not have room to hold us all for much longer, but the moon is not going to work as a human storage device. I get the whole experimentation idea if we are going to use it to improve things on the planet, but we have a space station (we spent billions of dollars on) for that.

Are we going just to study more moon rocks? Are we going in a futile attempt to try and find some evidence of the 'Big Bang'? What benefit is going to come of this? NASA is a great organization and they have done great things but I think it is time to start questioning the purpose of such things. Especially if it is going to keep costing us $16 billion annually. I want my money's worth.

Update:On Rightwingprof's suggestion, I checked on lunar ice and did find this. But as this article asks, is it worth it?

Not according to Bruce Murray of the California Institute of Technology. Murray told The New York Times, "Water at 1 percent by volume is not a resource," (see "Craft Sees Signs... " in the bibliography). "For something to be a resource, it has to be, by definition, economically viable, and this would not be."
'Not economically viable' i.e. a big waste of taxpayer's money.

Land Ho!

Avast me mateys! Beware the dreaded monster of the Pacific! I been told many a tall tale but never have a heard a load of carp gut like this. I seen enough from my travels to know these scurvy dogs can't be trusted. Keep the cannons at the ready me hearties and watch these Koreans close.

Responding to Pyongyang’s claims that it needs atomic weapons for defense, North Korea and the United States pledged to respect each other’s sovereignty and right to peaceful coexistence, and also to take steps to normalize relations.
Yaaargh. Me eye be on 'ya and me weapon be at the ready.

Avast Me Mateys!

Yarrrrgh! It be the International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Captain Steve wants to know how we be celebratin'.

Prepare the mainsail, we sail at dawn! Arm the cannon, mateys! Sharpen ye swords! The seas will be ours! Yarrrgh!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Want the Real Scoop?

Harvey of Bad Example has a link to the Centcom newsletter. Don't rely on the MSM for info on the was in Iraq since all they care about is the number of dead. See what good our boys in uniform are doing over there. And it's emailed to you!

Update: Added a link to CENTCOM to the sidebar. Check it daily!

The Truth Behind the Gitmo Hunger Strike

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

I was checking my e-mail last week and received a flagged message from someone at the White House:

Seems there are a bunch of dirty terrorist scumbags at Gitmo who are feeling neglected by the liberal media, so they went on a hunger strike to draw attention to their "plight". Apparently the want the "due process" they're entitled to under the Constitution.
Or would be entitled to, if they were, you know, US citizens.
Or hadn't taken up arms against the US.
But since they know they're not entitled to squat, I suspect that the MSM has screwed up the story and that the terrorists are on a hunger strike for one or more reasons that aren't being reported.

What's the REAL reason the terrorists at Guantanamo are engaging in a hunger strike?
Boy, it sounded like an order from Harvey but it seemed pretty important so I left immediately to Washington.

As I approached the gates of the White House, a dark figure mysteriously appeared by my side.


“Yes. It is I. The President sent for you since there was no one else we could trust.”

“What about Condi?”

“Well that might have worked too, but since you are here I need you to deliver a message to the media. They have the story wrong. You see, the prisoners aren’t on a hunger strike at all.”

“They’re not?”

“No. Stop interrupting. The fault of this lies with Howard Dean. We gave him the responsibility of feeding the prisoners in order to make him feel important. The Dems loved it. One of their own to watch over our operation. Little did we know that he was going to sabotage the whole thing.”

“What did he do?”

“I was going to tell you before you opened your big mouth. He replaced the salad dressing with this:”


“Bacon? Oh man, that is cruel.”

“Yeah, he wants these people to starve. Tell the media the Bush administration won’t stand for this and we have ordered 20 cases of creamy ranch to give to the prisoners.”

“I don’t think they will print it.”

“Do as your told! I’ll make sure it gets printed. Now go!”

And with that he was gone. Last I heard, the DNC was sending a representative down to cover up the story and to ensure the prisoners had plenty of croutons and soy-based bacon bits.

Feeling Ill?

Ray Nagin has no concern for the welfare of people. There is no drinking water, intermittent power, and toxic substances in the streets of New Orleans but what does he care? As long as people get back to work and start bringing in those tax dollars so he can get his paycheck, he is happy. Of those 180,000 people he wants to bring back in, how many will get ill from the filthy conditions?

"We must offer the people of New Orleans every chance for a sense of closure and the opportunity for a new beginning."
A sense of closure would come if you and Ms. Blanco removed yourselves from office or at least accepted the responsibility for making the disaster worse by your inaction.

Oh, and how does he propose to get all of these people back into New Orleans? Busses, I guess.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

My Headlines

Basil wants headlines. Here's your stinking headlines.

From ABC news:
Relief Head Questions Big Easy Timeline
Rest of body knows it's just too easy.

Iran invites participation in nuclear program
Who wants the bomb dropped on them first?

Police Search For Link In String Of Morning Armed Robberies
Anonymous tipster tells them that only chains have links.

From ABC news:
Croatian Zoo Features Humans Exhibit
Throwing feces is encouraged.

Hard to be Conservative?

I've been listening to a new talk radio station in Las Vegas lately, 1280AM (Google still shows it to be a spanish station). It has Laura Ingram and Michael Medved on during the day and The Rusty Humphries Show in the afternoon. Yesterday, Rusty had an interesting question for his audience: Is it hard to be conservative?

This really had me thinking. When I look at it, it isn't that hard for me, but I can see how it is easier for most people to be liberal. Think about it. Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan, Ted Kennedy, Howard Dean, and so many more have the media's attention. These are the people you see on TV. These are the faces America recognizes.

Liberals have all of their lines fed to them through the television set day after day. Much like robots, they are programmed what to think and they blindly spout phrases like "Bush lied and people died". No real thought has to take place.

What a great group to be involved with. You get to blame the government for everything that didn't go right with your life. Why should you work when the 'facist right' should be giving everything to you on a silver platter?

Conservatives, on the other hand, have to apply knowledge of the real world to every day situations. We realize that someone has to pay for health care programs and welfare. Money won't just appear out of thin air. The 'tax the rich' ideal works well in fantasy such as 'Robin Hood' but this is real life.

We also understand that some things are worth fighting for. World peace would be great but there is no way for this to happen as long as tyrants run countries. Looking out for us means looking out for them.

Sucks don't it.

Enlisted in Jack Army's Partisan Muster

Friday, September 16, 2005

Where's George?

Image hosted by
I know, I know... It's just wrong. But hey, it is kinda funny.

Picnicking at Basil's

About Glenn

(A Filthy Lie)

Glenn Reynolds finally has updated his 'About Me' page on Instapundit. The revision has not yet hit the site but I got an advance copy (with edits). It seems fairly similar but a few key changes were made.

Image hosted by

Okay, a surprisingly large number of people have written to say that (1) I shouldn’t put up a photo; and (2) I should shave my head so I look like a real human being.
Hope you like this one better. It's an outtake from a puppy blending convention photo session a couple of years back.
WHO IS GLENN REYNOLDS? Who cares? I'm a dirty law guru at the University of Tennessee Redneckville. I write various law review articles, opeds (what’s a hyphen?), and other boring crap you don’t care about. My most recent book is The Fine Art of Blending Puppy: Recipes and Anecdotes, (The Blender Press, 1999) coauthored with Kofi Annan. For something completely different, see How to Abuse Hobos, from the April, 2004 Satanic Cult Daily. (Sorry, but most hobo killing articles aren't on the Web. It’s illegal you know.)
I'm interested in everything, but my chief interest is in the intersection between advanced technologies and individual liberty myself. The vast majority of my writing touches on this in one way or another.
I'm also very interested in music myself. I produce, write for, or perform with a number of bands (but not "Pachyderm Party" -- that's a different Glenn Reynolds. He’s far more interesting.), including Mobius Dick, The Nebraska Guitar Militia, and the Defenders of the Faith. We play mostly for deaf audiences. I own a small microbial record company (it's not organized as a nonprofit, but it might as well be. God, I'm funny!) with my brother and another guy the world zionist conspiracy, called BlenderPuppy Records. Some of my favorite acts are Cecilia Noel and the Wild Clams, BT, The Supreme Beings of Leisure, and, of course, Creedence Clearwater Revival. If you recognize these bands, you too are insanely dull. (Except for CCR. They are okay.) Indeed.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Pledge or Get Out.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
and to the republic for which it stands
one nation,
under God,
with liberty and justice for all.

Back when I was in school, I recited this with hand over heart, never really understanding what it all meant. After I enlisted, it made a lot more sense. I was a part of a great country that wanted my loyalty and I was gladly affirming my patriotism.

So how can these words be perceived as unconstitutional? Go figure that the case was heard in the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. I don't think those idiots have picked up a copy of the constitution in their entire time on the bench.

How about we exercise some patriotism for once, instead of bashing on everything our founding fathers created? Why do people live in this country if they hate so much about it? We are a nation created by faith in God. "In God We Trust." Live with it or live somewhere else.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Would Clinton Have Said This?

From CNN:

"Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government and to the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility,"
How long do you figure it will be before the liberals call for President Bush to resign?

Heaven knows, the media can point blame at everyone possible but they couldn't figure out that Michael Brown was not right for the job before the storm hit? We know things did not move as smoothly as they should have. Brown resigned for that. Let's stop right there. The left has Brown's head on a pike so to speak, can that be enough?

Or should I bring up the fact that the federal response was delayed because of inaction by the governors? Did Blanco or Nagin resign and I just haven't heard it yet?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Side Splitter

Must go to Wazzadem now.

Must see the funny. Don't forget to check out part 2.

Warning: Make sure you aren't consuming a beverage while reading this. It may explode from your nose.

HT: The Therapist

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Maybe we could get Yucca mountain back on track if Edward "Ward" Sproat, a nuclear industry executive from Pennsylvania is confirmed as director of the Energy Department's Office of Civilian Radioactive Waste Management.

Note the word 'confirmed'. As in senate. As in Ted 'mah ass is huge' Kennedy and Harry 'not in my backyard' Reid. If they listen to Bob Loux, who coordinates Nevada's 'official' opposition, chances are Sproat will be a no-go.

"On the other hand," Loux continued, "if he is coming at it from the experience of negotiating with DOE, maybe that is an indicator he is going to move the department to the direction of settling with the utilities."
Settling? We are going to continue using OUR tax dollars to pay utilities to keep their waste on-site? We already pay Exelon to keep storing their waste. Boy, you liberals sure are loose with other people's money! How about you start paying them out of your own pocket, Loux? I'd rather have the repository.

"Any nominee will face tough questions moving through the hearing process," said Tessa Hafen, spokeswoman for Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev., a repository critic who closely watches the project.
Well, duh.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Where's the 10,000?

Want to make a liberal cry? Tell them that people survive. Col. Terry Ebbert:

"Numbers so far are relatively minor as compared to the dire projections of 10,000."
I don't know of anything that could be a bigger lefty party pooper than finding out that not as many people died as you had hoped.

I'm sure any moment now, we will see something from the liberals saying that they were wrong in their estimates. (Yeah, right.) How about a positive note at Huffington Post about the reduced casualty count? Hmmmm, nothing yet. I could be waiting a while.

Slots Beckon

Lost almost everything in Katrina? Come to Las Vegas, we'll take the rest.

I'm glad to see these hard working cops, firefighters and paramedics get a break. Let's get them all here in Vegas. Then the national guard can take over and finish the job. There are still people shooting other people in NO. They should now qualify as terrorists and we should treat them as such.

I am happy to hear that our little city can provide some much needed R&R for weary rescuers. I hope they enjoy their stay here and that lady luck is with them.

I also hope that their vacation includes tickets to ride the Big Shot at the Stratosphere.

Carnival of Comedy #19

Rapid Politics is hosting this week. I made the list. No accounting for taste I guess.

If you entered and it was something naughty, well it's not there.

No snarky warnings and no 'iffy' content. I was fairly picky in my categorizing and I only let the very best into the first category. All of the items in the last category are there for a reason...some of them are humorous but are either way too long or lack substance.
Yay! I have substance!

A Happy Tale

For 7 kids out of New Orleans who have been reunited with their family. This is the kind of heartwarming story that the MSM should be focusing on. These poor kids have lost everything in the storm but found new friends and got back to their parents safely. These poor parents who sent their children off so they would be safe, with no regard to their own lives.

Liberals want to argue about the definition of "refugee" and point the finger at Bush. Look! See what people are doing out there. I'm sure these kids don't give a crap about being labeled a refugee. They have their lives and now have returned to loving homes. How about focusing on that for once instead of taking a body count?!

Oh, and on the subject of refugee; the base word according to Webster is refuge.

Pronunciation: 're-(")fyüj also -(")fyüzh
Function: noun
1 : shelter or protection from danger or distress
2 : a place that provides shelter or protection
3 : something to which one has recourse in difficulty

Hmmm... A shelter or protection. That makes a refugee someone who seeks shelter or protection. Sounds a lot like the people from New Orleans to me. So stop bringing race into it you lefty morons!

Pronunciation: 'mor-"än
Function: noun
1 : usually offensive : a mildly mentally retarded person
2 : a very stupid person
3 : a liberal (see Oprah, Jesse Jackson, Kanye West)

OK, so I added #3.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Sad Tale

I normally don't post about personal experiences here but I feel this tale must be told. A warning to anyone who reads this post, it is sad. If you are in the mood for funny, go to CUG or IMAO.

On to my sad story:

The hardest lessons a parent can learn is when one of their children is injured. This hard lesson came at the expense of my 10 month old son Brandon. I was supposed to be working overtime last night. I got up at 11:30 to begin my day and started my usual routine. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat down to watch some news.

Brandon is getting to be quite the little walker now. Not on his own, but he can get along while holding on to furniture. Usually he sticks to the coffee table so we keep it clear for him, as he will grab anything on it. This is why I put the coffee on the end table. Scalding hot coffee.

I'm sure you can guess what happens from here. He makes his way to the end table right next to where I was sitting, grabs the cup, and before I can get to it, dumps it over.

Shock. Fear. My wife grabs for him. He hasn't started crying yet since the shock of it keeps the pain sensors off. We get his clothes off and put him in the sink. The cries begin as I pour cool water over his skin. My wife calls 9-1-1 and the paramedics are on the way.

She notices it first. Something on his skin? No, that is skin. Peeling off. She is in hysterics now and I'm not much better off.

The paramedics arrive and declare them 2nd degree burns. I feel very little relief from this. We decline the ambulance ride and drive Brandon to University Medical Center ourselves. They have a very good burn unit.

He is still crying, but there are no more tears because there are no more left. It's okay, I have enough for both of us. We get him into the pediatric ER and they give him demerol. This calms him and puts him to sleep.

The worst part is to come. We get to the burn unit and only one parent is allowed in. Mom takes him and I stay. I know what is about to happen. They have to clean it. The cries are the worst yet. I have to walk away or go insane. I walk. I cry. It's my fault.

I don't want to hear that it isn't. I should have known. I childproofed everything I could but didn't think that he would go for the cup?! A very hard lesson. And now my perfect little child has to suffer because his daddy didn't think.

I know he has forgivin me. I see it when he looks into my eyes and smiles. I know forgivness of myself will come but not for a while. The guilt is too stong now.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Glenn Reynolds International Man of Punditry

(A filthy lie)

Evil Glenn is looking to expand his horizons to the international community. (I guess out-blogging everyone in America just isn’t enough for old GR.) Instead of simply putting a Babel Fish on his site like other bloggers, Evil Glenn, with his unlimited supply of money, hired translators to work full time on his site.

Unfortunately for Glenn, his crew ran into some problems. You see, Instapundit does not mean the same thing in every language.

In Japanese, for instance, it means ‘inadequate bus fare’.

The closest thing they could find to 'Instapundit' in Polish came to mean ‘the chosen one’ which is downright creepy.

In German, it loosely translates to ‘pass the pickles’

In Cantonese, Instapundit literally translated is ‘your mother is a hairless goat’, which is why Glenn Reynolds is hated by the Chinese.

And of course there's French, where it translates directly to ‘feel the hind end of a goose’. Strangely that one gets him a lot of traffic…

Monday, September 05, 2005

IMAO Has Met My Demands

Scott McCollum has heard my desperation and given me the courtesy link and for that I am grateful.

FrankJ on the other hand... well see for yourself:
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Hat tip to JimmyB for the comic.

Bush Makes Hurricanes Stronger

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

As the final evacuees are shipped out of New Orleans, one has to ponder the reason behind such a terrible disaster. Could global warming truly be the cause?

Eager to find out once and for all the cause of hurricanes, I decided to hit the books. After making my knuckles raw, I decided to actually open the books and read them.

FEMA states that “hurricanes are severe tropical storms that form in the southern Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea, Gulf of Mexico, and in the eastern Pacific Ocean. Hurricanes gather heat and energy through contact with warm ocean waters. Evaporation from the seawater increases their power.”

Evaporation of seawater? Why would seawater be evaporating in the Gulf of Mexico? I decided to go there and find out.

I stole Paul Allen’s personal 757 (he has two) and headed down to the gulf coast. I chartered a boat and sailed out into the Gulf of Mexico.

About 35 miles of the coast of Florida I came upon a towering structure with pipes and cables running out of it. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I saw steam billowing out around the base of the tower. “What the heck is this?”, I wondered aloud.

“Nothing that concerns you”, came the reply. It was none other than the president himself. He was riding along-side Dick Cheney in a Chris-Craft motorboat.

“What are you doing Mr. President? Don’t you know that evaporating the water causes hurricanes to get stronger?”

“I’m not purposely evaporating sea water. This thingy here is going to save the American people. It is creating a rift in the earth’s crust right at the border with Mexico. Once we are free of a border, no more illegal aliens. Catch my drift? The whole hurricane thing was an unfortunate side effect.”

“Wow! You sure will show those commie liberals who didn’t want to fund more border patrol agents!”

“Now all I have to do is get Michael Moore to cross over the border before it separates. If he’s on the north side, his weight will cause us to sink into the ocean.”

Labor Day

As it is Labor Day and I am stuck at work, I am not going to be blogging about the Katrina disaster, moonbats, oil prices, or anything like that. Instead I'm going to talk about my last job.

I spent 6 years in the U.S. Navy as a nuclear electronics technician. My job was to operate the nuclear power plant on board the USS George Washington CVN-73. Before I went to the ship, I had to endure 3 years of training, memorizing information that filled a stack of books 6 feet tall.

On the ship, the shift rotation was 5 and 10 (five hours on, ten hours off). My berthing was right next to the catapult riser, so whenever a plane took off it shook the compartment. It was hard work, but it was the experience of a lifetime. I won't lie and say I loved every minute, but I will say that I am proud of my service and I am eternally grateful for the time I had serving on board the greatest ship in the fleet.

I recall the first time I saw the ship. She was in the drydock at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard in Virginia. I came through the security turnstile and my heart began to race. This was MY ship. This huge beast was going to be my home and workplace for the next 3 years. The biggest surprise was the fact that it actually FLOATED! 90,000 tons of steel that would ride the seas and launch fighter planes off its flight deck.

I only went on one deployment with the carrier group to the Mediterranian Sea. Six months is a long time to be away from home, even for a single guy, but the things we got to see were worth it. I have been to Italy, Spain, Croatia, the UAE, Greece, Turkey, and Bahrain. I have walked the streets of Rome, eaten calimari in Porta de Palmas, and had gyros in Athens. I am so fortunate to have done these things and I have the Navy to thank for it.

I also thank the Navy for the training that allowed me to get the job I have now. Speaking of which, I had better get back to it. Gotta make the megawatts.

A Good Idea

Let's send Bree Johnston of the Huffington Post over to New Orleans to draw fire while repairs are in progress.

It is true, Grover Norquist does want to "cut government in half in 25 years" but he is talking about the FEDERAL government. I don't want Washington deciding on funding for levees, school programs, local government services, etc. That's why we have state governments!

Bree can't seem to differentiate between the two, so I'm going to give her some help.

1) Federal government: Headquartered in Washington D.C., the federal government is established by the U.S. Constitution and is divided into the executive, legislative, and judicial branches.

2)State government: Under the 10th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, all governmental powers not granted to the United States Federal Government by the Constitution are reserved for the states.

Nowhere in the constitution does it say anything about health insurance, education, or engineering projects. So one would think that these things should fall under state juristiction, unless of course that person is as dumb as Bree Johnston.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

This post will remain at the top until Monday.

I've joined up with the over 1300 bloggers on the Hurricane Katrina: Blog for Relief Weekend. I chose to sponsor/donate to the Navy and Marine Corps Relief Society. I couldn't donate much but I believe that every little bit helps. Do what you can for the survivors of the terrible disaster. Before making any donation, check to see if your company will match your contribution.

Let's get together and show the world what it means to be an American.

Technorati tags: flood aid, Hurricane Katrina

Update: Forgot to add: Glenn Reynolds has a HUGE list of charities. Make sure to check them out.

Update 2: I found a website that does charity evaluations. Make sure you are giving to someone who will use your money wisely.

The Definition of Insanity

What good would come from shooting contractors trying to repair a hole in the 17th street canal? Somebody please make sense of this for me.

It might make sense if they had something worth stealing. It would be wrong, but it would make sense. These contractors had NOTHING. Were these idiots planning on stealing a barge?

We need to bring heavy artillery into NOLA and find these nutcases before they hurt somebody. This is now a combat zone and martial law needs to be instituted.

HT: The Drudge Report

Who Will Get the Movie Rights?

You know that Hollywood is going to make some sort of film about this. Refugees from New Orleans are banding together in 'tribes'.

I can understand now wanting to leave one's home but there is no more 'home' left in New Orleans. When there is no power, no clean water, and idiots with guns run the streets, it has become a third world country. Now is the time to start a new life in a new place.

It may sound harsh, but the truth is, the sooner you get started, the sooner life can get some normalcy. Take stock of what you have and make what you can of it. God will give you the strength to get back to life.

Attacking FrankJ

Don't get me wrong, I love IMAO and the IMAO podcast but getting a link from them is like trying to get a piece of candy away from Rosie O'Donnell. So I have decided to resort to dirty tactics and send an elite team of ninjas over to IMAO to force FrankJ into giving me a link.

Have at thee, FrankJ! And know this: Next come the monkeys!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

APB on Fmragtops

I'm putting out an all points bulletin for Fmragtops. He lives in Louisiana. His last post was on August 24 stating he was out of town. Nothing else has been posted on his site since Katrina hit. Anyone knowing the location / status of Fmragtops, please post in the comments section. JimmyB, GunnNutt, Fitch, and I are worried about him. Please post a message on your blogs as well.


Chief Justice William Rehnquist Dead at 80

From Reuters:

Rehnquist, 80, had experienced "a precipitous decline in his health in the last couple of days," and died in the evening surrounded by his three children, court spokeswoman Kathy Arberg said.
Now Bush will have another spot to fill on the supreme court. Of course, the liberals will make a fuss about whoever the nominee is because he or she is bound to want to overturn Roe vs. Wade and eliminate women's rights. I know the truth, though. This is just a cover to keep Karl Rove out of the papers.

Justice Rhenquist, you will be missed. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones.

Amidst Tragedy Rise the Heroes

I see the pictures taken from New Orleans and feel a deep sense of hopelessness for the people displaced by Katrina. Where do you go when you no longer have a home, job, clothes or food? I have made my donation but there is not much more I can do personally.

Just when all seems lost, I read this in the Las Vegas Review-Journal. I'm glad to see our community doing what they can. There are so many houses being built here and so many job opportunities. I hope that survivors can come to Las Vegas and set up a new life for themselves.

Idea: Castaways hotel has been closed down but the rooms are still there. Open the hotel temporarily to give these people a place to live while they find employment and a permanent residence.

Bush Reads Shakespeare.

In order to gain more culture, President George W. Bush has started taking courses in Shakespeare. I have graciously accepted an invitation to assist him in deciphering some of William Shakespeare's works.

Me: This week we will be reading 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'

GWB: What's a midsummer?

Me: That would be the middle of the summer.

GWB: Ok. So the people are all asleep in this play?

Me: No. Just wait, you will see. Let's start with Act 1 Scene 1.

Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour
Draws on apace; four happy days bring in
Another moon: but, O, methinks, how slow
This old moon wanes! she lingers my desires,
Like to a step-dame or a dowager
Long withering out a young man revenue.

GWB: Heh. Her name is Hippolyta? Bet she's fat.

Me: No, actually she is supposed to be quite beautiful. Theseus is anxious to be married to her and he wishes the next four days to go quickly.

GWB: Boy, this stuff is hard to read. What's with this Shakespeare guy anyway? Can't he just get to the point?

Me: It's artistic. Iambic pentameter is poetry. Now let's go on.

Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Of our solemnities.

Me: Hippolyta is anxious as well, but she thinks the days will go quickly.

GWB: An optimist like me! I keep telling everybody this war will be over soon. Maybe if I had her to explain it, they'd believe it.

Me: Let's skip forward a bit shall we? Well go to Egeus' meeting with Theseus.

Full of vexation come I, with complaint
Against my child, my daughter Hermia.
Stand forth, Demetrius. My noble lord,
This man hath my consent to marry her.
Stand forth, Lysander: and my gracious duke,
This man hath bewitch'd the bosom of my child;

GWB: Woah, he touched her bosoms? No wonder this 'Eggy-us' guy is mad.

Me: No, he has stolen her heart. He wants Hermia to marry Demetrius but she is in love with Lysander.

Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given her rhymes,
And interchanged love-tokens with my child:
Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung,
With feigning voice verses of feigning love,

GWB: Love tokens? This play is dirty.

Me: No, you have a dirty mind. 'Love tokens' means things like flowers and candy. Read on.

And stolen the impression of her fantasy
With bracelets of thy hair, rings, gawds, conceits,
Knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeats, messengers
Of strong prevailment in unharden'd youth:
With cunning hast thou filch'd my daughter's heart,
Turn'd her obedience, which is due to me,
To stubborn harshness: and, my gracious duke,
Be it so she; will not here before your grace
Consent to marry with Demetrius,

GWB: I get this guy's point. I woudn't want my daughters marrying anyone I didn't approve of. Especially if he's trying to win her over with gays.

Me: Good to see you are trying to pay attention, but he's not talking about gays. A nosegay is a small bouquet.

I beg the ancient privilege of Athens,
As she is mine, I may dispose of her:
Which shall be either to this gentleman
Or to her death, according to our law
Immediately provided in that case.

GWB: Woah, he wants to kill her? This guy is intense. What kind of freak is this Shakespeare? Sounds like Al Qaeda to me. Get Rumsfeld on the phone. I want to order a strategic bombing of William Shakespeare.

Me: I think that is enough for now.

Linked to: Stop the ACLU, Basil's Blog

Friday, September 02, 2005

Bad Clinton! Don't Let Your People Down!

Former President Bill Clinton has got Arianna Huffington in a fit. It seems that Clinton feels the disaster in New Orleans was unforseeable.

"You and I are not in a position to make any judgment because we weren't there."
What do you mean they can't make a judgement? Mr. Clinton, if the liberals can't make judgements, they won't have anything to say. Do you mean to say that this wasn't all President Bush's fault? Howard Dean says it is.

"I'm telling you," he said in a White House sit-down with CNN (along with Bush, Sr.), "nobody thought this was going to happen like this...they had problems they never could have foreseen."
Arianna seems to forget the fact that Bill Clinton WAS president of the United States. He would know better than anyone else what it is the country is prepared for.

Don't let the facts get in the way, Huffington. If you start to think logically, your brain will start actually working and you won't have anything else to say on your little blog.

And now providing cover for George W. Bush and undermining this teachable moment. Again I ask: What the hell is he thinking?
Here's what he is thinking: "Arianna Huffington is a freak and I want nothing to do with her or anyone at her blog. Except for Greg Gutfield. I love that guy."

Carnival of Comedy #18

Doc Rampage has the carnival for this week. Go forth and do the funny.

Your's truly will be hosting Sept. 22. I will do my best to do the IMAO crew proud and deliver the funny (on time) to you.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

I'm a Sell-out

(A Filthy Lie)

There comes a time in everone's life in which they have to make a difficult choice. I had to make such a decision recently in regards to a blog ad. I was offered a considerable amount of money to carry the ad for the life of my blog and as I am in dire need of funds, I present to you the new sidebar:

I know what you are thinking, "How could he support that hobo-killing penguin-porn addict?"

It's not just for money...

It's for a s--t load of money.

Instapundo Delenda Est!

Wonderful News!

President Bush has a great plan for dealing with the rising gas prices across the nation:

"Don't buy gas if you don't need it"
Whew. I feel relieved now. I know that people won't be buying gas on random urges anymore. I almost went to the gas station this morning, with a full tank, to buy gas on a whim and then I heard that the president didn't want me to buy gas because I didn't need it. I have a strange desire to spend $3.00 a gallon. YEAH, RIGHT!

How about putting a cap on the cost of gas? I feel terrible about what's happening in Louisiana and Mississippi, but there are others in this nation suffering as well.

The truck driver that has to pay for his own fuel is now losing money transporting goods. Those who have to drive for their job are looking at losing their jobs because oil companies price gouge at the pump. President Bush, use the powers you have to put an end to this. I can't afford it anymore.

Day By Day© by Chris Muir.