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Thursday, August 04, 2005

What Changes Evil Glenn Would Make at NASA

(A filthy lie)

I called up a friend of mine in Jacksonville yesterday, who works at Kennedy Space Center, to ask about the Discovery coming back.

SeanS: Hi Mike, how's things in Florida?

Mike: Dude, things are sucking big time.

S: Hey, I thought you guys would be partying it up since this looks like this will be a successful mission.

M: Nope. No more parties. Orders from the new boss.

S: What's his problem?

M: Parties distract from work. We are already planning STS-115 and this guys being a hard-ass. Last night he beat up the flight test director because he looked like a 'hobo'.

S: Hmmm.

M: Arrgh! Don't say that word!

S: Got something against one word comments?

M: I do now. That's all this guy does!

S: Sounds familiar...

M: And then there are those funky energy drinks he's always got. Something is not right with them.

S: Too weird. This guy's name wouldn't happen to be Glenn, would it?

M: Yeah, you know him?

S: Oh my GOD! Stay away from him! He's evil! Do you know what he's up to?

M: Well, I'm not supposed to say, but STS-115 is launching a new prototype satellite. It's called the Instapundit 1.

S: What's it going to do?

M: Well, I'm not really sure. Supposedly it hooks into media outlets around the world in search of information. Once it finds something with conservative ideas, it takes all relevent information and links to it. Then it puts it on a site called 'Instapundit' and adds a one word comment. Sounds pretty useless to me.

S: It's worse than I thought. Does it do anything else?

M: Well it's set up to wipe out all of these things called 'blogs'. I'm not sure what they are, but he seems to have it out for a group called the 'Alliance'. Oh, and it broadcasts the Discovery channel.

S: What?

M: Yeah, some show about penguins.

S: That's not the discovery channel, friend. He's broadcasting penguin porn! He'll have all the children in the world addicted! We have to stop him! Keep that satellite from going up.

M: I'm not sure I can......

S: Hello?!

Evil voice: Muahahaha!

So there you have it. If Evil Glenn takes over NASA, he will send up a satellite to destroy the blogosphere and taint the world with penguin porn. We must stop... h....i.....


Day By Day© by Chris Muir.