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*Disclaimer: Don't actually shoot liberals... Impaling is much more satisfying. But then again, there's always walking the plank...

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Orders From Alliance HQ

(A PGH Assignment)

Allaince H.Q. wants me to bug some famous person until they talk to me. Very well, I accept your challenge.

I've been sitting in a tent outside the home of Ryan Stiles for the past week now and still haven't gotten in to see him. I've been told this house once belonged to Liberace. Extravagant, to say the least. Well, I'm not going to allow myself to get distracted from my mission of a personal meeting with Mr. Stiles. I've been passing the time making up hoe-downs and singing them as loud as possible.

Maybe you want to know why I'm pestering this man of unimaginable height? I'm going to demand he apply for the part of James Bond. Brosnan is out and now is our chance to put an American in the role!

"But, Sean", you say, "he's a comedian. How can he play such a serious part?" I believe it is time for Ryan to branch out and reach for a higher calling. Besides, how hard can it be to say "Bond. James Bond" and "Shaken, not stirred"?

My calls for support to Drew Carrey, Colin Macherie, Brad Sherwood, and Wayne Bardy have gone unanswered but I'm not giving up. Not for anything. What's that? $100 if I leave? Woohoo, I'm rich! See ya!



Day By Day© by Chris Muir.