John Roberts Faces Criticism from Senate Democrats
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
John Roberts faces his confirmation hearings and the Dems get to work trying to break him:
Ted Kennedy: Mr. Roberts, what is your position on the issue of Roe vs. Wade?
Harry Reid: That’s not an answer Mr. Roberts. Do you support or oppose gay marriage?
Barbara Boxer: Why won’t he answer our questions?
Roberts: Muahahaha! Because I’m not John Roberts! (pulls off his mask) I’m Glenn Reynolds!
Glenn Reynolds: And my first action as supreme court justice will be to make my blog the only one that is constitutional!
Ted Kennedy: Hey aren’t you the guy who drinks puppies?
Glenn Reynolds: Yes and I’m going to make all the world my own! Hobos are unconstitutional and must be terminated! Penguin porn is within my right to free speech! Worship me fools!
Diane Feinstein: Hey, I kinda like this guy.
Richard Durbin: He’s just the kind of guy we need on the bench! You’ve got my vote Glenn!
Glenn Reynolds: Muahahaha! I don’t need you. I have all the site traffic in the world at my disposal now! (runs out of the senate chambers)
Harry Reid: What a nice guy.
John Kerry: But I still want to see those documents!
Instapundo Delenda Est!